you will need
a frying pan (cast iron if possible)
a large pot
stove
a spatula
wooden spoon
3 litres of water
english muffin
toaster
the neighbours bitchy wife.
put water in large pot
put on stove
boil water.
get neighbours wife
tell her to toast your ****ing muffin
if she refuses
slap her with the spatula
tell her to toast the ****ing muffin again
if she refuses
throw boiling water on her
tell her to toast the ****ing muffin for the last time
if she refuses
bonk her with the frying pan (throw mama from the train style)
then go out to a store or restaurant where they might toast those babies up for you.